even when shitfaced your sober self can shine through

i do not know how the fuck i feel right now it seems like every fucken girl i date winds up being a stupid druggie. what sucks is this is that girl i dated back in march who i spoke so highly of... the only girl that i dated who was all grown up and mature...well let me start form the beginning... friday was my friend Jeramy's birthday he is 20 now so firday he spent the day in phoenix with his brother and today he spent the day in tucson and his brother came down from phoenix well the place we had the party at was at my friend drews apartment. well my ex girlfriend Jamie lives really close a couple of doors down from him but we had a drunken get together. i invited jamie to join because i have not seen her since march. well the party was fun i kinda played babysitter to some kids that were there. george made an apearance and it was nice seeing him. it was all fun. but since i have not talked to jamie since march she seems to be following her tweeker mom's footsteps and i remember her telling me that she would never do that. i am wasted at this point. i had "3 rolling rock beers" and probably 6 smirnoff triple blacks at this point. and i see her kissing up on this guy who i know just wants her for a one night stand. so i finally pull her aside and i talk to her and i told her that she was following her moms footsteps. i knew she was on tweek because she told me she has not slept in four days she admitted everything to me. i am so wasted at this point but yet my sober mind still overpowered my drunken mind. and i had a really intelligent conversations with her which was amazing. i do not want to see another ex of mine turn into a crack whore. why ever things did not work out between me and this girl is way beyond me but you know what i realize why i say fuck it all sometimes. but yet i could not tonight it was so tempting but i realize i still ahve feelings for this girl. i also helped out jeramys brother by saving him from being locked in the bathroom with my exe's stupid friend who was desperate for sex cause her boyfriend that she knew for a week was cheating on her and none of my friends would touch her. and jeramy's brother was already in a relationship so i see them go into the bathroom and i run in there and act like i am going to throw up and i shove them both out. i also saved jeramys brother from being seen by a security guard by taking his beer and acting like it was mine me being 21 i can do that so i showed the guy my id and he told me to take the beer inside i saved his ass there too, jeramy's brother was so thankful i faked being sick and shoved him and that girl out of the bathroom because he wanted nothing to do with that girl and he did not want to cheat on his girlfriend. so i saved him a couple of times. so after that girl left telling me my friends were losers i just chilled and almost passed out jamie still stayed adn chilled with that guy i am just proud that i told her my feelings... usually i keep my mouth shut about stuff like that but i did not tonite i told her everything that was on my mind about her but it all makes sense now. oh well i will try hanging out with her but if she refuses what more can i do??? well good night people i am going to pass out... happy birthday jeramy and justin.